Ernie likes the letter m, and that's all you need to know about him.


He sings about the letter m. Ernie is half man, half rhesus macaque. It's a running gag in Peppermint Park that Nicholas Soldato is completely obsessed with him. He is annoyed by Nicholas, and so is everybody else. Before she met peter griffin, and had meg, stewie and chris to abuse, lois used to work in a research laboratory and torment monkeys. One day, a figure appeared, releasing the monkeys. According to sightings, this figure had no style, no grace, and a funny face, and was probebly an orangutang. Lois heard the word 'woohoo! flimby!' echoing down the hall. Mistaking her for a fellow orangutang, the figure caressed her as he possesed her, and fired coconut juice into her candle cove. 9 months later, after several attempts at a misacarradge, lois had hooked up with peter, who promptly threw ernie down a well at birth. Judge claude frollo saved Ernie, but because he had to deal with a teenage quaimodo, frollo sold Ernie to freddy fazbears pizza. Because the animatronics where scared of him, Ernie pretended to be a furry and draw shitty fan art of them to ruin their scary reputation. Later, Ernie auditoned to act in candle cove. He insisted on playing jade, but was turned down because the girl was called janice, Ernie was clearly a dude in a dress, and his appearance was too upsetting for candle cove. However, 2 actors who where a gay couple, horace the horrible and skin-taker adopted Ernie, and all 3 where a big, happy, ugly family. Later, skin-taker and horace made sentient doll heads, put them on decapitated humans, and they made a group called peppermint park. The peppermints parkers steal crackers for sustinence, but also dress as pigeons to steal stale bagels. They roam parks, zoos, and theme parks as the sun sets, seeking human flesh for added protein. Near their hut is a busy road where they steal straffic lights, to cause crashes and eat the causalties flesh.


Ernie loves medicine, but thinks mayonnaise is more important, as he makes money from the stroke victims who ate too much mayo.. He also likes monkeys because a monkey mated with his mum and he inherited it's strength. He is afraid of measles, mumps and monsters, but begrudgingly accepts that they exist because they have his favourite letter in their name.


He is a weird, slimy humanoid with a well-developed snout. He constantly drinks pineapple juice but never works out. Due to the fact he fights, he is still strong, and his big schlung grants him an expansive, multisex and multispecies harem.

Special AbilitiesEdit

Can destroy eardrums with his raspy voice.

Canon and Fanon AppearancesEdit





Ad blocker interference detected!

Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.